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Sanctuary of Solitude


I spend nearly all of my evenings at home alone with either kayla and the pups, or just the dogs. Every once in a while though, I feel a bit stir crazy and just need to get out and mingle with other adults. I’ve been feeling this way a bit more often than usual as of late. I’m not sure if it’s just due to an extended period of time spent sequestered at home, or if it’s the change in the weather causing me to spend more time indoors when I am home.

The past couple nights, I have ventured out from the small town I live in and made my way into the city to attend two different events at trendy bars downtown. While it was nice to see some friends I haven’t seen for a while, it’s really driven home the point that I rather prefer to be out away from the city and lots of people.

The other day I posted a little meme to facebook that stated, “Some people want a big house, fast cars, and millions of dollars. Other people want a tiny cabin in the woods away from those type of people.” I felt it was a fairly apt description of my feelings on the subject. The thing I realized tonight though, was that it’s not just “those type of people” I want to stay away from, it’s pretty much all people for the most part.

I love being around those who’s company I greatly enjoy, but I’m also coming to really enjoy my solitude more and more these days. I like having the option to be around people when it suits me, and then being able to leave whenever I feel so inclined and go back to my own private little sanctuary away from everyone.

At this point, aside from my daughter, I’m not entirely certain that I have any desire to even attempt to cohabitate with anyone ever again. I’m still undecided on this one as I do really love having someone to curl up with at the end of the day and wake up next to. But I’m starting to wonder if, given where I’m at now, I’d even want that EVERY day.

I’ve read a little about the concept of being in a long term committed sort of relationship but retaining individual living arrangements. I believe they have some phrase for it like “Together-Living-Apart” or something like that. It’s not something I’d have considered as an option in the past, but lately I’ve been thinking it may just be the way to go. Who knows, perhaps when I finally meet someone that will all change, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time my entire outlook and perspective has shifted radically.

In the meantime, I have plenty of time alone to ponder such things and really evaluate my thoughts and feelings on the matter. And for now, I’ll just try to enjoy my alone time as much as I can when I have it. Aside from a quick run into the studio at some point tomorrow, I don’t have anything on the agenda, so I should have all day to enjoy being by myself and getting a few more things finished up and organized around the house before Christmas. Since I’d like that time tomorrow to be as productive as possible, I’ll call it a night now and go get some rest so I don’t need to rely on coffee all day long to keep myself going. Thanks for reading.