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The Spirit of My Words

So if you haven’t noticed, I’ve been on a bit of a poetry kick as of late. I’m not entirely certain where it’s come from either. I’ve been reading it on and off for most of my life, but I can’t say it’s ever really held my attention for long. I’ve liked reading it and searching for the one with just the right words when trying to be romantic with a woman, but I’d never really attempted it myself, not outside of school assignments at least.

Though, now that I think about it, this whole writing project I’ve started here actually began with a poem. It was before I had decided to start the blog and I just sat down to write because I was feeling inspired. I had things on my mind I felt compelled to put into words, I just couldn’t figure out how to say what I felt in my heart though, and so what wound up coming out ended up becoming a poem of sorts.

That seems to be the reason behind the others too when you get down to it. In a lot of ways, I find this a bit baffling. The more ineffable my feelings, the less words I use to try and describe them. Logically, I would think it would be the other way around. It would make sense to use as many descriptors as possible to try and say EXACTLY what I feel and make my meaning as clear as possible.

Yet, this seems not to be the case. Perhaps it’s just that I am the writer of these poems but the way it feels to me when I read them is that I’ve managed to capture the feeling better than using page after page. I read them, and I don’t think “Well, it’s not just that, it’s this too. Let me just add a bit more.” Sometimes I’ll change a word or two or re-order the lines, but then it just feels done, like “Yup! That’s it.”

Maybe it’s just a matter of writing from a different place. These long drawn out ramblings come from my mind, with influence from my heart. The poems, on the other hand, seem to come straight from my heart. My mind only acts like the dictionary or thesaurus supplying my heart with the words to use.

That’s not to say that one is superior to the other, I think they’re both helpful for me, they just serve different purposes. Each one helps the associated part with gaining a bit of insight and clarity. It’s a bit like taking a Holistic approach to writing, tending to the needs of my mind, body, and spirit. But if things like I’m writing tonight serve my mind primarily, and poetry serves my body (heart), what then is the spiritual aspect of it? Is there some third thing I’m missing?

Maybe the spirit part is the writing itself and taking the intangible thoughts and feelings and making them real, putting them in words that can be read or spoken. Maybe it’s the other part that I’ve been thinking about but have yet to actually start. More often than not, the photo at the beginning of each post is just a stock image, some are my own, but most aren’t. When I started the blog, that first post had photos I took while I was out in the woods having the experience I described in the post.

I’ve thought about how it would be really fun and a great artistic/creative enterprise to do this again and take photos to compliment each of the poems. It would be a cool challenge to try and find something visual that would capture the same sort of feeling for me as the words I write. Maybe that’s the spiritual component of it all that will complete the whole project and balance everything out.

Or maybe not, maybe it’s just another thing that captures my interest and is just one more way I can express myself. Maybe I was right in the first conjecture and the spiritual part is the driving force behind all of this. That part that inspires me to search, share, and explore greater depths of what I think and feel. Or maybe I’m not really meant to have an answer to that one just yet.

Perhaps for now, it’s enough to just keep it in mind and let the answer come in its own sweet time. As I seem to frequently remind myself, “Don’t force it, just BE and let it come to you.” Then again, not all questions are really meant to be answered and this may just be one such question. Not that that will stop me from asking it, but it does remove the expectation that I’ll solve the riddle. Regardless of whether or not I ever figure it all out in this life, I do greatly enjoy the process. And that, after all, is the whole point, to enjoy the ride and do the things that stimulate you in all aspects of your being.

For now, I’ve had enough stimulation for the day and I’m ready to call it a night and get some rest. I’ve got Kayla with me for the next five days so there will be no sleeping in no matter how late I stay up pondering deep thoughts and writing about them. I’m not sure what life has in store for us this weekend, but I want to be rested and ready to enjoy it with her. She’s 5 and has more energy than a nuclear reactor, I just try to keep up with her and enjoy our time together before she’s all grown up. Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great weekend!