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The Distinct Downside to Disorganization


I made an interesting discovery this evening that I think I will be well served to keep in mind in my future writing endeavors. My style of letting my fingers roam freely across the keyboard as whatever sort of random thoughts fill my mind contend with each other to be let out of the asylum, has the disadvantage that I don’t really think about what I’m writing as I’m typing it. I do very little editing and next to no filtering. So, this evening, as my mind was marinating in thoughts of how much nicer it feels to be divested of some of the emotional and physical weight I’d been carrying around (it’s day 7 of my “only carry one knife for a week” challenge, a change I’m going to be sticking to with the exception of adding the Swiss Army knife back to my belt) I let those thoughts flow.

It wasn’t until I was nearing the 3-page mark that I started thinking about what I was writing and it all started to feel a bit too familiar. For those who haven’t read it, I basically re-wrote a very similar post to the one I put up last Thursday (Zen Proverb: Two Monks & a Woman). Whoops! The only sad thing about it was that I think I may have actually gotten it written out better the second time around, having had a measure of experience discussing the topic already.

With that option off the table, what little bit of insight into my inner workings could I offer you this evening? Perhaps a piece on the importance of organization? Fuck that. Plus, am I really the sort you want to be taking organizational advice from if I can’t even keep track of what I’ve written in the past week? Probably not. It’s not one of my greatest strengths to say the least.

That being said, the topic I figured I’d mentally explore a bit more in depth is being aware of what your strengths and weaknesses are. There are countless tools out there online to help you determine what they are if evaluating such things doesn’t happen to be one of your own strengths. I recently took one such online evaluation (of the 24 traits it listed in my results, organization did not make the list. Surprise surprise) and was impressed, not necessarily by what the results were but rather with the accuracy they seemed to convey. I won’t bore you by listing all 24 in order, but I will mention the top 5.

The first one was Creativity. It had a little paint brush and palate icon next to it. As a tattoo artist, I think I would have been a bit concerned about my career choice if this one hadn’t come up in my top 5. It’s a fairly straight forward concept and despite the ways I’m sure that I could get creative in discussing it, I don’t think it really needs further explanation.

The second one was Fairness and it had a little picture of a set of scales next to it. Ok, I buy that one too without a second thought. I’m a Libra, the scales are kind of my birth sign so no big shocker there either. I feel like I’m a pretty non-judgmental person overall and that I try to treat everyone fairly, with respect, and without bias.

Coming in at the third spot was Leadership. I’m not entirely certain what the little icon next to that one is but I think it might be a small school of fish with the highlighted one being out in front. I’m not sure what fish have to do with leadership as all the BBC narrators I’ve heard explaining the dynamics of schooling fish seem to resemble that of lemmings more closely but whatever, that’s not really important anyway. I don’t usually think of myself as a leader per say but I have held numerous leadership positions in the past during which the group or organization I was a part of grew and flourished. The description does mention the word organization, but I think sometimes the key to being a leader is understanding, as I’m discussing tonight, one’s strengths and weaknesses and delegating accordingly. I may not be organized but I certainly know how to spot someone who is and put their skillset to use!

Number four on my list was Love with the predictable heart icon next to it. I didn’t feel even the tiniest hint of surprise here, except perhaps that it came in as far down the list as it did. I Love to love! I love to talk about love, I love to feel it, I love to give it and receive it and share it. I love falling in love. I love life itself, even the unpleasant messy parts (I only said I loved them, I didn’t say I enjoyed them, there IS a difference). I value connections to people above almost all else and have an almost physical need to experience those connections as fully as possible.

The fifth one was Judgement with a little thought bubble next to it. My first thought was “Ok, how is that all that different from Fairness?” In reading the description though, it talks more about examining things from all sides and not immediately jumping to conclusions. It also talks about the ability to change one’s mind when presented with sufficient cause or a compelling argument. Having been accused of overthinking things on more than several occasions, I can see how this trait is pretty present in my personality.

Following that I had perspective, social intelligence, appreciation of beauty and excellence, prudence, curiosity, honesty, kindness, love of learning, spirituality, gratitude, bravery, hope, teamwork, forgiveness, zest, humor, perseverance, self-regulation, and humility. Did I say I wasn’t going to bore you by listing them all? Hmm… Sorry, I guess I should have said I wasn’t going to talk about each of them in depth. Giving you the rest of the list was sort of the other half of the equation though, that is, knowing and understanding your weaknesses

So, with this particular evaluation, the idea is that everyone has all of those traits in some various order but it’s more a measure of which ones are most dominant and which ones are there but not so strong. For me that means that forgiveness, zest, humor, perseverance, self-regulation, and humility would be considered my weaknesses (or my less prominent strengths if you wanna put a positive spin on it, which of course I do since evidently humility is at the bottom of the list. I know, that’s not very funny, it does rank humor down there too so if you’re surprised, it’s your own damn fault).

What’s the point of all this you ask? Is this just an excuse to tell us how wonderful you are? Alas, no. That’s not my intention at least. The point, dear Watson, is self-awareness. Self-awareness is a beautiful thing! That’s almost half the point of this blog, a place for me to unload my inner thoughts so that I can get to know myself a bit better. You all, of course, get to know me a bit better as well as a little side benefit, but I’m hoping the bigger perk for any of you still reading will be that I somehow inspire you to think a bit more about yourselves, or maybe show you a unique perspective of things that will in some way prove beneficial one day.

I’d love to hear some of your thoughts (feel free to comment below) and let’s make a discussion out of it. Lets all get to know each other a little better and find out what each other’s strengths are and how we can possibly help each other out! We’re all stuck here on this beautiful floating rock together, let’s make it as pleasant and fun as we can, together!